an uncomfortable clothing choice
For some unknown reason, Jorts have been the topic of many conversations lately.
Jorts = Jean shorts. [GUEST NOTE: "Jorts” – a combination of the words “jean” and “shorts” – are used to describe the somewhat hideous attire often sported by NASCAR aficionados, Green Bay Packer fans, men over 40, and men who probably ought to be over 40. If you wear jorts, you probably have minimal relationships with women. Sometimes jorts are accessorized with a lovely cellphone belt clip and a braided leather belt, but not always, as sometimes the jorts-wearer lets the jorts speak for themselves.]
I think it's because of the White Trash Birthday Bash that I recently had.
Not saying that only 'white trash' wear jorts . . . just a lot of people that attended the party had them on. [GUEST NOTE: I can count the number of acquaintances I know whom habitually wear jean shorts on one finger. Although, I’m fairly certain this summer will bring more to light. HINT: Missouri.]
I don't really understand them. [GUEST NOTE: I’m told they provide the comfort and durability of jeans, yet provide the ventilation necessary for summer wear.]
Denim is such a durable and heavy fabric. [GUEST NOTE: It can also chaff. Pretty badly.]
But I do not see the benefit of using that fabric for shorts. [GUEST NOTE: Other than the fact that you are 75% more likely to meet a woman at the Indianapolis 500.]
So what? You would like to have sweaty thighs and cool calves?
My body would not be able to handle the confusing sensations that jorts would give me. [GUEST NOTE: It’s rumored that there is nothing like the sweaty sensation jorts provide on a hot and humid summer day.]
On the other-hand, John Cena wears jorts, and he makes jorts look good....very good. [GUEST NOTE: . . . (speechless)]
Guest author: Jake Haseman....for previous bio, find the goat post.
Jorts = Jean shorts. [GUEST NOTE: "Jorts” – a combination of the words “jean” and “shorts” – are used to describe the somewhat hideous attire often sported by NASCAR aficionados, Green Bay Packer fans, men over 40, and men who probably ought to be over 40. If you wear jorts, you probably have minimal relationships with women. Sometimes jorts are accessorized with a lovely cellphone belt clip and a braided leather belt, but not always, as sometimes the jorts-wearer lets the jorts speak for themselves.]
I think it's because of the White Trash Birthday Bash that I recently had.
Not saying that only 'white trash' wear jorts . . . just a lot of people that attended the party had them on. [GUEST NOTE: I can count the number of acquaintances I know whom habitually wear jean shorts on one finger. Although, I’m fairly certain this summer will bring more to light. HINT: Missouri.]
I don't really understand them. [GUEST NOTE: I’m told they provide the comfort and durability of jeans, yet provide the ventilation necessary for summer wear.]
Denim is such a durable and heavy fabric. [GUEST NOTE: It can also chaff. Pretty badly.]
But I do not see the benefit of using that fabric for shorts. [GUEST NOTE: Other than the fact that you are 75% more likely to meet a woman at the Indianapolis 500.]
So what? You would like to have sweaty thighs and cool calves?
My body would not be able to handle the confusing sensations that jorts would give me. [GUEST NOTE: It’s rumored that there is nothing like the sweaty sensation jorts provide on a hot and humid summer day.]
On the other-hand, John Cena wears jorts, and he makes jorts look good....very good. [GUEST NOTE: . . . (speechless)]
Guest author: Jake Haseman....for previous bio, find the goat post.
Hillaireus!!!! My real dad is a religious jort wearer...he fits into the hippie/men over 40 category.
ReplyDeleteI would like to respond to the attack upon Missouri.....I never wear jorts. Unless of course, I am attending a white trash birthday bash. Even then, I model my attire after Iowans.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I knew Jake was the co-author as soon as Green Bay Packer fans were thrown into the mix.
"Permettez au jorts de parler pour eux."
ReplyDeleteJesse: Have you ever been to Green Bay? It is, almost by definition, based upon the wearing of jorts. It's awkward and uncomfortable in so many ways.
ReplyDelete