Embarrassing stories from the Andrea vault

My life if just one embarrassing story after another. Usually it doesn't seem embarrassing to me at the time, but looking back my whole life has been pretty embarrassing so far. I luckily have been born with no shame...I don't know if I should thank my mom or my dad for that. Maybe I'll just thank both of them.

One of my favorite embarrassing stories is when I was in 3rd grade (or maybe it was 4th grade?). Halfway through my elementary school career I switched school because we had moved. I vividly remember seeing "hott young thang" for the first time on the playground. I will be calling this young man HYT because I would actually be pretty embarrassed if anyone who read this actually knew this kid and revealed this story to him. Yes, even years later I am still slightly mortified by my immature antics. Anyway, I developed a very swift and acute crush on HYT. I actually thought I would marry this kid...I was in love. It was far beyond the time I kissed little Pauly that lived down the street, or the time I invited Jimmy to my princess birthday party at McDonalds. I was IN LOVE with HYT.
I was a very weird child growing up. I played Barbies, serious no game barbies until I was 12. I blamed it on having a younger sister, but I don't think anyone ever believes that. Anyway, I had a very very active imagination. I would come up with elaborate scenarios involving myself and 'prince charming'. I decide that HYT needs to know of my love for him. That's when I hatch my plan.
So the last day of school of either 3rd or 4th grade, I rush home. My master plan was to call up HYT, pretending to be my brother, and interrigate him. I knew I would get in trouble calling boys, so I needed to do this before my parents come home. To me, my older brother was very cool and very powerful...he was in 5th grade and the king of all elementary school children. HYT knew I had an older brother, or at least I thought he did. The conversation went as follows...
(all of this was done in my 'brother's' voice...which I bet didn't sound anything like Joe)
(I also called and hung up 3 times before I actually started talking)
"Hello?"
"Hi......uhh is HYT there?"
"This is HYT, who is this?"
"Andrea's brother"
".........what?"
"Do you have a crush on Andrea?"
"......"
"Do you think Andrea is pretty?"
"......who is this? Who are you talking about?"
"Andrea Staley...this is her older brother."
"......ok"
"Ok I have to go now"
click.
Yep, that was it. I actually did that. I thought it was the best plan ever.
It was a good thing he had all summer to forget I did that. I don't think I fooled him at all.

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