Sneak

Because it's Friday.
Because it's snowing outside.
Because I have no motivation.
Because I have been stressed to the max all week...

I am writing another post.
While I am supposed to be working.

The marvelous thing about this computer is that it LOOKS like I am working, while really I am not.
I always was the sneaky child.
My mom can confirm this.
And dad,
And Joe....
And Alli.
Norman would too if he were alive.
This is Norman. The best fricken dog ever.

Going back to my sneaky ways, I decided it would be time to write about another embarrassing story from the Andrea vault.
I was in 5th grade and in Mrs. Dryers class. It was cool to be in her class because we got to do a lot of plays. For some reason someone decided that doing weekly play performances in school was necessary and cool. I never got a good role....but I digress. Every Friday (or was it Monday?) we had to turn in our homework folder signed by a parent. Me, being a complete type B personality, was never really proactive in getting things like that done. I either thought it was stupid, or just not important enough to remember. Either way I had forgotten to have it signed a few times. I guess the deal was, if it hadn't been signed over 3 different times, then I got a homework warning slip that I had to have my parents sign detailing my horrible transgression. (side note, why did my parents have to sign everything?) Well, I was NOT going to get that stupid slip of paper...I had a feeling my parents would skin me alive if they had to fill it out. So, in my clever 5th grade mind, I decided to forge my sweet mother's signature. I've seen her sign it many times and I thought it wouldn't be too hard to copy. Unbeknowst to me, my teacher was watching me as I meticulously, perfectly, and carefully signed my mother's name on my homework folder.

She pulls me aside. She asks me if this was my mother's signature (woman knew it wasn't, she was fricken setting em up!). I of course lied. Told her it was. She then goes on the scare the living day lights out of me. Telling me what a horrible thing I had done and saying she was going to call my parents that night.

I was going to die.

My teacher was going to CALL my parents. I wasn't going to get away with just a stupid little paper for them to sign anymore. She was going to SPEAK to them.

I finish the rest of the day in total dread. Go home. Sit in my room and let the fear rake over me. For some reason I decided it was best to not fore-warn my parents about the upcoming call. If they were going to kill me, I'd much rather not help it along.

The phone rang. My mom answered. She spoke, she listened. She knocked on my door.

Death knocked on my door.

She comes in. She is smiling. She then starts to laugh.

I am totally confused.

Instead of the horrible scene I had been anticipating all day, I got this. My mom had thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Me, trying to forger her signature, while the teacher watched. Relief flooded over me and I broke down in sobs. I guess mom decided that my own personal punishment had been enough. I was completely off the hook.

Sneaky Andrea.