this is embarrassing

I'm in a funky mood today because of several unfortunate circumstances.
But instead of bringing you all down, I decided I would try to cheer you all up.
Or at least cheer myself up.
So I am going to tell you a pretty hilarious story from awhile ago.

I think I was in high school when this took place.
My mom, sister and I were going swimsuit shopping.
Every single woman knows that swimsuit shopping basically blows.
I get car sick swimsuit shopping.
I hate it.
Mostly because when you have to go swimsuit shopping, it is still winter-ish outside.
When your body hasn't seen the light of day for a good 4 months.
And florescent lights are incredibly unflattering.
Swimsuit shopping blows.

Shopping with my mom is like shopping with a fricken nun.
I am pretty buxom (thank you mother).
So hiding my blessings in a swimsuit is a joke.
A big joke.

So mother won't buy Alli and I swimsuits unless she approves.
And she won't approve unless they cover EVERYTHING.
Which rarely happens in our family.
I got me boobs, Alli's got an ass.

So we were getting frustrated because my mom was being picky.
Apparently I was showing WAY too much cleavage.
Our family is not very proper.
And we tend to get rowdy.
Instead of just bitching out my mom like normal bratty teenagers do, I decide to go out into the hallway of the dressing room and flash my mom.
I was proving a point.

Small problem.
I thought the hallway was still in the woman's dressing room, but it was much closer to the entrance of the dressing room.
And at the exact moment that I flashed, an Amish family walked by.
Father leading the way.
And looked right at me, in all my glory.
This is not a joke.

So, my mom and sister saw all of this go down and rushed me back into the dressing room.
Naturally we are cracking up like little immature kids.
We hung out in the dressing room for a good while, mostly because I was mortified to go out.
I didn't want to run into the Amish family.

My mom was trying to convince me to go out.
She was using all kinds of excuses.
I was still too scared.
Then she exclaimed something along the lines of "Well, that's probably the best thing he has ever seen!"

Eventually we walked out, and the Amish women were in the dressing room.
They most definitely heard my mom.
We ran out of that store.

I hope that story made you laugh.
I'm still kind of embarrassed about that.