family vacation

In couple weeks, I am going on a family vacation.

I haven't been on a family vacation for a good 4 years.

I love our family vacations.


Have you seen those Chevy Chase vacation movies?
Well my family is the Griswolds.
We are that boisterous family that somehow found their way into the cool club.
Totally on accident.

So to celebrate this upcoming family vacation, I will tell you some HILARIOUS stories from our last family vacation.
We went to Hawaii for ten days.
I remember everything from that trip.
Because it was the best consecutive ten days of my life.
And I kept telling myself to remember this trip.
I learned how to surf, listened to whales, went to a luau, and a bunch of other stuff.

Funny story #1
My favorite day was when we went snuba diving.
It's not scuba because you are attached to this tank that is on a raft.
So you can't really dive that deep.

My mom and dad didn't want to snuba, so they just snorkeled at the top of the water.
Joe, Alli and I all snubaed.
I have always been fearless in the water. So I basically dove down to the water as quickly as possible. Looking at all the fish and such.
Alli took a little longer, but she eventually made it down to the bottom.
Joe...did not.
Joe and I were connected to the same tank. Which was bad for me.
Because Joe was getting super claustrophobic or whatever, he kept sucking in all the air. So our tank went WAY down.
He kept holding onto his little air tube and wouldn't get any deeper than a few feet in the water.
It was comical to say the least.

And if that wasn't funny enough, there were TONS of tropical fish surrounding us.
And Joe kept swatting them away.
Now I have an irrational fear of critters, but Joe is way worse than me.
It is SUPER funny.
We have all these pictures that my parents took of us snubbing.
Alli and I are at the bottom of this sea volcano, and Joe is still skimming the surface.
They are sooo funny.

Funny #2
We are a family of swimmers.
We had a pool growing up, and we would spend all summer in it.
So when we were in Hawaii, If we didn't have anything planned, we would all go swimming.

Or at least down to the beach.
So one day in particular we go to the beach and the waves are CRAZY big.
We are all really strong swimmers, so we are totally geeked about these big waves.
There was one problem.
Big waves in the ocean are totally different than the big waves in Lake Michigan.
We all found this out extremely quickly.

A good Samaritan gave our family a boogie board right when we got there.
Joe decides to take it out and mess around with it.
On his very first wave, he is riding high on his boogie board.
Having tons of fun, then it starts to break, and crash down.
Taking Joe and the boogie board with it.
Joe must have hit the floor of the ocean at a vertical angle, because he snapped his board in half.
And ended up with extreme sand rash.
HAHA it was SO funny.
He was out there for about 2 minutes.

The next Staley victim was Alli.
My mom, dad, sister and I all go out to play in the waves.
But play soon turned into survival.
Alli had gotten knocked around by about 3 good waves and was completely disoriented.
And that wasn't the only thing that was disoriented.
In the wave pummelling, Alli's top had come off.
It was so bad because there were a bunch of people on the beach getting a free show.
My dad had thought Alli had gotten a couple of big cuts and was coming over to help her.
I kept yelling "BOOBS!" at her.
My mom was having her own troubles.
Eventually my dad figured out what was wrong with Alli and instantly turned away, I still kept yelling 'boobs", and my mom was eventually able to help Alli find her top.
It was seriously the strangest scene ever.

After that, my mom and Alli went back in to lay down and recover.
I guess when my mom made her way onto the beach, she was a sight to see.
Her hair was all messed up, and her swimsuit was all twisted around.
Making her boobs look like a Picasso painting.
My brother tactfully yelled at her to fix herself.
hahahaha. I'm sad I missed that scene.


I only thought I was going to die a couple times, so I stayed out in the water the longest.
My dad got carried away my the riptide one time, and that was freaky.
But he calmly made his way back.
And freaked out when he got to the beach.

So I am excited to see what hilarity will ensue on our next family vacation.
Things to look forward to:
  • We will be in a different country
  • We will be joined by another family
  • Alli is older

The different country one is the big one. I can only imagine how horrible we will act and what stories will come from this trip. I AM EXCITED

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New Year, Better Andrea

My name is Andrea and I am a struggling 32 (nearly 33) year old woman. I am not married, have no children, no pets, and no real responsibilities. Yet, I cannot for the life of me, get my act together. I have a decent job that barely covers my bills. I have an apartment downtown that I love, but struggle to keep clean. I eat whatever I want whenever I want, even though my body is begging me to stop. I never exercise.  I drink alcohol nearly every weekend, to excess. I am a statistic. I am like every other wandering millennial.  I want to do better, I want to be a better and more healthy version of myself. I'm not publishing this stuff. I'm not expecting anyone to ever read this actually. I just want to write it down and declare it to myself. ANDREA... BE BETTER. I want to give myself little goals. Not goals for the future, but goals for right now. So that I can see in a week, a month, or a year from now that I was able to be better. My goals for this week: Actuall...
Read more

poor kids are the best kids

I seriously love co-authoring. I do. It rocks. Today, I’m rocking this post with Carrie (bio below). We talk most everyday. About whatever. Recently we have been talking about being poor. I am currently incredibly poor. And have been for the past year. I also grew up slightly poor. We weren’t living in a cardboard box or anything, but we were poor enough that we thought garage saleing in the summer was back to school shopping. Co-author: I grew up in a cardboard box. Or something very similar. Double-wide trailer, ie two single wide trailers of different lengths pieced together by my father, which had no insulation and only one fire place to heat the entire place. Garage saleing to us was top-of-the-line. We were more accustomed to the land-fill version of school shopping. I like to think of my childhood and family as "resourceful" as opposed to "poor". So this post is really going to be in honor of my awesome parents (mainly my mother)(and Carries entire family who...
Read more

Numbers

I honestly think no one ever reads this blog. That makes it a bit easier to write about things that are honestly on my mind. I am not a very deep person. Or I at least try not to be. I love living a stress free life. It's very sad, I realize, to you people that are deep and critical thinkers. Don't confuse my stress-free shallow existance to being apathetic. Trust me, I'm not. I work for AmeriCorps and want there to be good in the world and I am doing my part to make that good happen. Now that I have justified myself sufficently, I will let you in on a little convo my friend and I had this morning. I am not even joking, we actually discussed this. (I was going to keep my friend a mystery, but under further consideration, I figured everyone would know who this person was anyway. If you guessed Carrie, you were right.) My/My friend's theory on numbers 1= The skinny one. No one likes her because she is bossy and wants to be the leader all the time. She is the attention hog...
Read more